'I'm always looking for the Hows and the Whys and the Whats,' said Muskrat, 'That is why I speak as I do. You've heard of Muskrat's Much-in-Little, of course?'
'No,' said the child. 'What is it?'
- The Mouse and his Child. Russell Hoban.

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Sunday, 3 November 2013

Broken Windscreen

I was driving home one night and something hit my windscreen.  I'm sure it was a bullet - it was so loud it made my ears ring!
I phoned Smith & Smith the glass repair company.



Here's the van arrived already!



The procedure was fascinating.  The bloke opened up the back of his van and carried the new windscreen with suction-cup-handle thingys, and placed it on his portable table in my carport and attached some other suction-cup-bar thingys:



... and turned it curved side up and cleaned it:



Then he cleaned the other side.



Then he removed a black plastic doofer that sits under the bonnet.
Then the windscreen wipers.
Then the rubber seal from around the windscreen.


He then stuck a white doohicky with a wire sprouting out of it, on the windscreen.
A strange black apparatus on the inside...
And some yellow tape stuck down a piece of the wire, carefully positioned, on the outside.



Now, this is the magic part:
He started winding a handle in the black apparatus, and the wire tightened, and tightened, and then he moved the black apparatus to the passenger side, and wound the handle again, and the wire bit into the seal behind the old windscreen, cutting just like a cheese wire, and hey presto! the windscreen was off!

 

All that remained to do was to gouge out the last of the black sealant ...



and give it a good wash to remove any oils ...



... remove the old Registration and Warrant of Fitness stickers from the old windscreen,
and stick them on the new windscreen ...



... push a rubber seal around the sides and top of the new windscreen, and using a gun, apply some goopy black rubber stuff around the entire edge ...


Carefully measure the positions and stick two suction cup holder thingys on the side windows of the
car ...



Pick up the new screen ...




Swing it in place with its guide holder bars latching onto the side window holder thingys ...




... and along with the orange suction cups spanning between the roof and the new screen, it's all held perfectly firmly in place while the black goop dries!


Meanwhile he folds up his little table and pops it back in the van ...



... reattaches the black plastic doofer that sits under the bonnet, and also the windscreen wipers:



Then he removed all the paraphenalia, and gave the new windscreen a wash to get the suction-cup circles off.


And Bob's your uncle - all finished in about 20 minutes!



Writing out the receipt:


And ...

Gone!  Byeee!

19 comments:

  1. All the while I was scrolling down and reading this, I was thinking my comment would start off with "and Bob's your uncle". You beat me to it. It does look like a fascinating process. Did you not think to ask what all those doohickeys and thingys were really called? or were you too busy photographing the progress?!

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  2. I didn't want to interrupt him Violet...

    And do you know the second part to 'Bob's your uncle?'

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  3. Makes it all look so easy ... but I bet there's a real talent in doing it so quickly and "easily"

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    1. Yep Helsie - and actually he said that it went particularly well this time -but that it doesn't always! Perhaps he was working especially carefully because I was lurking and clicking every three seconds.

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  4. Bloody marvellous... and beautifully recorded. The last time I had one replaced I don't remember it being quite so complicated; but it WAS on a Renault 4L.

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  5. Thanks Cro... I was amazed at all the equipment. As you can probably tell.

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  6. I was going to say "Bob is not my uncle. I am Bob." but had second thoughts about it upon learning there is a second part to "Bob's your uncle".... please enlighten us doofuses out here.

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    1. You're right Robert! Inasmuch as one can summarise an entire person in three words, it would be more accurate to say 'Bob's a blogger'.

      The second part of the saying? '...and Fanny's your Aunt'. Sometimes said as 'Bob's your Auntie' for comedic effect.

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  7. actually that was just like watching you paint cherries><<><>everything you experience has so much detail in it whether you do it or watch it<><><>i am not like that at all>><>also once a long time ago you ask me where kolob is and now i want to answer you<><>it is the closest star to where








    God lives

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    Replies
    1. I think you may be right Putz - I do get really involved in whatever I do/ experience. I love living like that!
      Thanks for the information about Kolob. That is very <><><> interesting <>.

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  8. and you pay nix for chips<>><wonderful

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    Replies
    1. It's a nice catchy little phrase!

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  9. Well documented Katherine. As the handbag is on its fourth windscreen it was fascinating to see the whole replacement process.

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    Replies
    1. I enjoyed it from go to gone! And it started with being able to stay at home and have them come to ME!

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  10. Great stuff! Love the word doofer - I only get to hear it now when I go "home" and visit my parents!
    Speaking of whom, they told me the 2nd part to "Bob's..." when I was just a babe in arms.
    Well done Katherine, an excellent post!

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  11. Thanks Brian.
    There are expressions down here in the antipodes that come from lots of parts of the UK - eg Cockney, Midlands, and (especially in Invercargill and Dunedin) Scottish. There are also pockets of language specialities - a few settlements that drew there colonists from Europe like the Scandinavian Norsewood and Dannevirke.

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    Replies
    1. I know it's THEIR not there. Slip of the finger.

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  12. These people really are effective and efficient. You could use your talent to make instructions, regardless of the “dingys” etc.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Ben. I enjoyed thinking of you all while I was writing this.I wonder if I would find writing instructions as enjoyable without such a supportive audience to write for.

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