Growing-your-own results in unexpected visitors. In the old days I never used to wash my lettuces.
'You should wash the lettuce, Mum!' they cried.
'I don't spray' said I. 'There's nothing nasty to wash off'
Then I found an earwig, didn't I? Well, it found me. Actually, it found it didn't like being bitten in two, so it pinched me. On my gum. I had to extract the pincher with tweezers. This is true.
So the next weekend when we had friends for dinner, I had, not only washed but also finely chopped lettuce and also a hilarious topic of conversation at my expense. I observed my guest carefully separating and inspecting her lettuce after this, although she politely tried to make it inconspicuous.
Guest: 'Er... I think I've found something'
Everyone peered onto her plate. It was a vegetable bug. Actually, only half a vegetable bug - the front half, neatly chopped.
The jokes are true. Shortly afterwards I found the other half. My mouth was suddenly filled with the foulest, most vile taste I have ever encountered. In this experience I am joined by the loftiest of the science world*, but that was no consolation at this point. I left the table abruptly and while retching and heaving over the sink in the kitchen, I heard through purple haze, murmurs of concern floating from the dining room.
When I was able to return to the table I could confidently tell everyone that stink bugs have their stink in their rear ends, and that it works even after vivisection. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to add that the experiment was a complete success. I am often brilliant retrospectively. But it has provided an excellent conversation-starter at dinner tables ever since.